Week Five has brought me to my knees many times over... I'm a little tired... OK... Maybe I'm MEGA TIRED!!! When i'm tired it usually shows itself in tears... Today I had lots of tears... Wanting to know all the answers to all my questions, insecurities, wonders, and doubts about my parenting, I found myself constantly coming up short... I felt like in every situation that came up I just couldn't seem to find my way... When the kids would argue with each other I was at a loss for words on how to guide them and correct them... When Skyer would cry, I found myself holding her face near my face and saying, "What's your deal??? Why are you crying???"... As if she had any idea why she was crying... I was just wishing that she would miraculously open her mouth and tell me in plain english all her needs... It would sure make things a bit easier don't you think...
I knew this time would inevitably come so I planned ahead and prepared some reinforcement... There is a song that I heard in church several months ago and it has ministered to me in so many times over the past few months....
These are the lyrics...
I knew this time would inevitably come so I planned ahead and prepared some reinforcement... There is a song that I heard in church several months ago and it has ministered to me in so many times over the past few months....
These are the lyrics...
I can see that my hands are trembling, I can see that my legs are weak
I can see that my head is spinning, but I will overcome
And I know that my heart is hurting, And I know that my soul it aches
And I know that it seems I'm failing, but I will overcome,
Chorus:
O Lord I'm strong in You, O Lord I am wise in You
O Lord I can see in You, so I will overcome
O Lord I'm loved by You, O Lord I am free in you
O Lord I'm complete in You
So I will overcome, I will overcome, I will overcome
In the middle of the night when I feel like I am going to just fall apart I listen to this song over and over again... I ask the Lord to remind me that I AM "strong, wise, able to see, loved , free and complete" in Him... Then I repeat Philippians 4:13 over and over again until I fall asleep again...
Sometimes I wish I was super human... I wish that I knew how to be the perfect parent... I wish that I could convince my 2 and 3 year olds that sin stinks and that obedience is a blessing and that they would always choose kindness and never be cruel to one another... I wish that I could go days without sleep and that my body would never feel the repercussions of it all... I wish that I had all the wisdom in the world so that i wouldn't have to struggle through so many things...
But the truth is that there is only one man who was this cool... and I'm glad that I have him in my heart... cuz he helps me minute by minute in my weaknesses...
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Thank you Lord that you are so strong in my life right now... because, right now... I am so weak...
Today at the doctors we found out that Skyler has gained over 2 lbs and has grown 1 inch over the past 3 weeks... She's now weighs 8 lbs, 6 ounces and is 20 1/2 inches long... She's doing great... She's waking up more often at night... (Maybe she likes spending time with me and the Lord :) or maybe she's just hungry :)
I can see that my head is spinning, but I will overcome
And I know that my heart is hurting, And I know that my soul it aches
And I know that it seems I'm failing, but I will overcome,
Chorus:
O Lord I'm strong in You, O Lord I am wise in You
O Lord I can see in You, so I will overcome
O Lord I'm loved by You, O Lord I am free in you
O Lord I'm complete in You
So I will overcome, I will overcome, I will overcome
In the middle of the night when I feel like I am going to just fall apart I listen to this song over and over again... I ask the Lord to remind me that I AM "strong, wise, able to see, loved , free and complete" in Him... Then I repeat Philippians 4:13 over and over again until I fall asleep again...
Sometimes I wish I was super human... I wish that I knew how to be the perfect parent... I wish that I could convince my 2 and 3 year olds that sin stinks and that obedience is a blessing and that they would always choose kindness and never be cruel to one another... I wish that I could go days without sleep and that my body would never feel the repercussions of it all... I wish that I had all the wisdom in the world so that i wouldn't have to struggle through so many things...
But the truth is that there is only one man who was this cool... and I'm glad that I have him in my heart... cuz he helps me minute by minute in my weaknesses...
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Thank you Lord that you are so strong in my life right now... because, right now... I am so weak...
Today at the doctors we found out that Skyler has gained over 2 lbs and has grown 1 inch over the past 3 weeks... She's now weighs 8 lbs, 6 ounces and is 20 1/2 inches long... She's doing great... She's waking up more often at night... (Maybe she likes spending time with me and the Lord :) or maybe she's just hungry :)
Aunt Amy captured a little smile... she sure is a cute little one, huh?Until next week...
2 comments:
day by day...minute by minute. these first few months are rough when you are not sleeping much! you are an amazing mom! i wish i could come and take a night for you! love you girl!
WOW...That song brings back so many memories from my college days...oh how I know the tears that flow singing that and knowing that we are so weak and needing Christ's strength to keep on going. It's been a long time since I've heard that song.
Maybe Skyler is hitting a growth spurt? Usually it's around 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months??? And I'm sure she wants to spend some quality one on one...no other distraction time with you and Jesus!!!!
Post a Comment